One of the hardest things I’ve had to learn as I (continue to) get older is to listen to my body when it’s clearly telling me something. I am a person who pushes and pushes myself until I can’t push no mo’. And while my body is healing or exhausted or injured (etc.), I have to literally force myself to slow down. Because my mind is too far ahead.
As you know, I’m coming off my second surgery in the past 6 months, and I’ve not been able to keep up with my workouts as much as I’d have liked because my doctors have insisted. I am feeling all the things: out of shape, blah, heavier, grouchy, and most of all, I’m having gym FOMO. I also don’t feel as strong or muscular as I did back in January. Today, I was officially cleared to get after my “normal” routine at the gym, and I was overly enthused. But, dun dun dunnnnnn…I arrived rearing to go. In my head, I’d already planned all the work I was going to do and had mapped out my favorite exercises. Oh how I’ve missed them!
Sadly, I soon discovered that my body was not, in fact, aligned with my “ready to roll” mentality. I started off with a slow-paced run, and noticed right away that everything felt off. The bouncing movement make me nauseated, and the pounding on the pavement was jarring. I was out of breath within moments. I knew I had to make a choice — either keep pushing forward and risk additional time out of the gym, or slow down and try again tomorrow. I walked. Again. Thankfully, I did get to do some body weight and light weight exercises (squats!) after the failed attempt at cardio, but decided not to even look at my normal weights or high intensity until I’m better equipped to handle those.
Do I think I’ll magically wake up and be back to normal? Heck no. I am fully aware that it might be a slower journey than I’d anticipated. I may have the opportunity to push myself in the near future. I think as my body slowly heals, I will know when the time is right to go harder. And maybe if I keep trying every day, it will get a little easier each time, until I’m back to myself. In the meantime, I’m trying desperately not to be frustrated or impatient with myself. Slow and steady wins the race.
I can still focus on my diet while I’m working my way back at the gym, so this week this Cleaned Up Creamy Butter Chicken with Cauli-rice is what’s for dinner.
Thanks for reading! Xo.