You know how I preach to you about my new-found positivity? How I’m searching for new ways to get a fresh perspective? How I’m smiling more and feel happier than I’ve been in years? How I’ve left those icky blues behind? Well, truth be told, I’ve been up and down, and this week I’ve found myself taking a turn to Negative Town.
It’s actually fascinating how easily one can fall back into a dark place, even when things are mostly good. When I think logically about the progress I’ve made in a month’s time, it’s difficult to understand how I can feel so negative. But I realize that sometimes my emotions can get the best of me, and I don’t even realize it until I’m already here.
Today, I woke up and skipped my morning work out. I laid around on the couch. I logged into work and felt like I was totally “phoning it in.” I was uninspired and slightly filled with dread. At about 1pm, I left my house for the first time with a full intention of driving myself right on through the takeaway line at P. Terry’s and order a burger, fries, and maybe even a milkshake. As I was driving, I realized that this is exactly how I’ve fallen off the health wagon in times past. Would it be the worst if I had ONE splurge at P. Terry’s on a week day? No. But knowing that I’ve splurged a lot lately, and feeling totally blah, I made a decision to change paths. To catch myself before I get in too deep.
I turned the car around, and drove myself to the gym. I didn’t feel like working out, but I forced myself to do it anyway. I made a deal with myself: If I burned 500 calories, I could still reward myself with P. Terry’s afterwards. I burned the calories, and then ended up coming straight home to make a protein shake, skipping the french fried goodness that I had craved earlier. I opened up my laptop and responded to emails, poured myself a very tall glass of water, did the dishes, turned on the washing machine, checked the mail and handled a handful of other chores. I went and grabbed coffee with a friend. I touched base with another friend I haven’t spoken with in a while. I dusted off a new book, The Happiness Project, and placed it on the table to pick up when I have a second later. I turned my passiveness into action. And you know what? I felt better immediately.
You see, sometimes when I feel down, I tend to hole up/wallow/spiral. I’ve known I need to break that habit for years now, and I see that when I get a little momentum under my belt early enough, I’m able to turn it around. No amount of P. Terry’s or wine or laying on the couch or complaining or negative thoughts will make me feel better. I have to make an effort, open myself up to positive thoughts, make good choices, and remember that there are things that I like to do and ways that I like to feel. And that’s how you get out of inertia and back into gold star, rose-colored glasses, rainbow sprinkles territory.
In case you need gym-spiration, here’s the AMRAP I did today. It was a real sweaty one…
Thanks for reading! Xo